Maybe it's because of nFriday the 13th or maybe it's just chemistry-- today I ate a Trader Joe's pretzel bagel with two tablespoons of peanut butter, followed by a mini carton thing of blackberries. Somewhere along the way of eating my breakfast, I also downed two Sertraline tablets, one Buproprion tablet, and one doxycycline hyclate pill. I finished eating, went downstairs to switch my laundry, came back up and sat down to read The Girl on the Train and suddenly I felt that all-too-familiar nauseous feeling.
I've become much less of a stranger to nausea in these past few months so I know there are two types (at least for me): the first is a vague icky feeling and that goes away if I just move gently and distract myself with other things and may pass a little gas. The second is a nausea that one cannot be distracted from. In fact, it is the nausea that becomes so distracting that I am incapable of doing anything else-- even laying on my bed and reading. It's the icky feeling that only gets worse... til it's squeezing your everything and you're not sure if that's a voluntary or involuntary strategy of keeping yourself (and everything inside yourself) together. It's the nausea that forces you to throw gentle movements out the window in favor of no movement at all. Lay still. Maybe if you do so you'll fall asleep and wake up cured? But, alas, one cannot be so lucky. The nice thing about not being five years old anymore is having the mental capacity to hold myself together until I get to the bathroom. I might make some weird sounds along the way, but I'll take that over cleaning up my own vomit, thankyouverymuch. I learned that regurgitated blackberries are kind of shocking to see (I had to remind myself that I wasn't throwing up mystery chunks of alien flesh or something). Their dark juices splatting against the porcelain look like the blood of a trypophobe's worst nightmare. So, yeah. I just needed to relay that experience. :(
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